Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize