im holly from the hills drunk
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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