I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
