you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
