Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
