i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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