We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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