Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
