So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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