Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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