don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize