Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
