This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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