I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
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