K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
