I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
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my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
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If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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