I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
