i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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