Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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