my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
