i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Congratulations! We have a period
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