Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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