As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
