she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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