East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
