I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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