I wish I could punch you in the face.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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