My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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