YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
