Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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