I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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