There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Randomize
