You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
You were trust falling into bushes
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