is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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