she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
