Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
