Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
