Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
