if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
