its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
My breasts were aching with rage.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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