she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
