I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize