apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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