I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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