I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
