I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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