it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
