Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
