i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize