I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
