who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
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