Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Randomize
