After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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