i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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