New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Randomize
