I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
