You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
