there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
