As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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