How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
