After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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