I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
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