i barfeds in our rink
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize